Notes Worth Knowing

Balancing Work and Family

Cantor Marcy Kadin
September 4, 2012

It’s Labor Day once again.  Americans have been celebrating this holiday since 1882. On Labor Day, we salute ourselves, the workers, who have toiled and sweated and given so much of ourselves to create this magnificent nation.   Listen to The HanwooriWorkers Choir of South Korea as they sing their rendition of the beautiful Israeli folk song, "Zum Gali Gali". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV_VGbjv0UA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

On the Jewish calendar, Labor Day almost always occurs in the month of Elul, the month of preparation for the High Holy Days.  It is a time of introspection as the Days of Awe approach.   As summer reaches an end, there is no better time to reconsider ourbalance between work and family, an ongoing struggle especially for busy people.Through introspection, we can begin to address how to achieve this balance.  How do we allocate not only our time, but also our physical, emotional, and psychological energy among the spheres of our lives?

Paula Davis-Laack, J.D., M.A.P.P. writes, "You wake up after too little sleep, think about exercising, hit the snooze button, drag yourself out of bed, wake up the kids for school, start the coffee, take a shower, wake up the kids again, make breakfast, pack lunches, read email, quickly kiss your significant other goodbye, answer emails and deal with the first crisis of the day on your way to the office, get to the office and realize you're not going to have the day you thought you would, answer emails from clients who want answers now, do some actual work, make a mad dash to a local restaurant and buy some lunch, rush back to your desk, eat quickly while working, spend several hours on the phone talking to clients, put out a few fires, talk to your significant other because one of your kids has become sick and has to go home, answer more email, drink more caffeine to keep going, attend post-work client development event, eat something at the event, head home, put the kids to bed to bed, relax for ten minutes, significant other wants some "alone time..." WHAT? Sound familiar?"

The elusive balance between work and family can be attained even though just thinking about it can even be daunting.  For us, beginning with Labor Day weekend and as we approach the High Holidays, consider how things are going in your life.  Are you overwhelmed and stressed out? What is it that is causing your anxiety? Are you sleeping? Are you taking on more than you should?  Written by Woody Guthrie in 1945, listen to the Klezmatic’s version of the beautiful song “We are Gonna Get Through ThisWorld.” There is hope for all of us!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxcfgt8JBE4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

After much life experience and reading books and articles on the subject of balance in our lives, I offer up the following advice:
Be different! Do what works for you no matter what anyone else is doing.

Try to find work that is flexible!  That doesn't necessarily mean working part-timebut trying to find work that will allow you to tailor your schedule to your needs and the needs of your family, without having to neglect your duties at work.

Get rid of anything that is not good for your morale or that zaps your energy. Let go of it, or get help doing it!

Make time for yourself! Do even little things that refresh you, calm you, rejuvenate you, and then you will have the energy to take care of others!  Heal thyself!  Listen to "Ana El Na Refa Na La”, an ancient Jewish healing prayer, written by Danya and Eyal Rivlin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTXJtdZ1qZg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Learn to say no!  Accomplishing it all is not important if it takes a toll on you or your family!

Laugh!  Make life fun and try not to take it too seriously all the time!

Do what is needed to keep you whole.  If you’re always exhausted, aggravated, and have lost your sense of humor, you are of no use to anyone!

And finally, be grateful to God for all your blessings.  We have so much to be grateful for.  Pay attention to the little gifts that occur daily, for our partners, our children, and our health.  Experiencing gratitude can put things in their properperspective and give you the insight you need to care for yourself.

Shanah tovah um'tukah.